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Kheng Leng.
learning to embrace life
believes in chasing dreams and miracles


DOESN'T WANT TO SUCCUMB TO PEER PRESSURE TO CHANGE HER TAGBOARD. SMALL IS UNIQUE :D
Friday, October 28, 2011, 10:57 AM
Lessons everywhere

I am too selfish, too self-centred, too egoistic and too showy. The trigger came from a small talk w a friend and man, I realised that most conversation I made are often attempts to tell the person more about myself, my achievements and what I have done so far. I have never really talked to them because I really want to know them.

Another trigger was seeing the poster for students to join the YEP to Hue. The surge of memories came back like how water flow through floodgates, mercilessly and vigorously. The unwilling soul wither under the baggage of memories and I am very disoriented now.

I vividly remember the scenes where I was telling Mr L about what has happened in the hostel which could have sounded a lot more emotional than logical. I suddenly thought that, maybe he was already judging me. Was I doing that for the welfare of the group or was I just bitchy.

And then I come back to the point to find out about my ground values. I don't know what kind of values did I based on to choose I have said. Maybe I could have mull over it and realign my values before saying something. And I come to think that why am I so afraid of people judging me? Then I thought that maybe.. really maybe it is something that I have not done in the best way that I could hence the thought keeps lingering on.

I should move on, find my values and watch myself. I need to grow and I need to get out of the environment of talking behind people's back and finding pleasure from complaining. It's all negative influence.

wooooo. Feel so much better typing all these. Its okay if you don't understand but I'm grateful for you that you have read what's going through my mind for the past half an hour. Thank YOU!